July 3, 2009 - Coors Field, Denver, CO

Man has it been a while since I was last able to blog about my adventures. I suppose that’s because in a way I haven’t been able to get out much, except over to that guy Frank’s office, where I get to watch him type all day. I must tell you that it’s not really all that exciting, not like island life. Heck at least over there I had an ocean view. Still, Frank will start traveling soon, and that’s going to allow me to see some new things. Like two weeks ago, when I was able to take my first trip to the Rocky Mountain State of Denver and see my first ever baseball game. I gotta admit, I kind of like baseball…throwing things and hitting things and all those people yelling….and a big fat dinosaur. Kind of my style.

This is me on the airplane. Being that I’m from a tropic island, I like the idea of flying on an airline names Southwest, mostly because it didn’t say the words Ajira, or Oceanic, or ACME anywhere on the side of the plane. As you can see I had my own seat for the flight, and I was safely buckled in for the journey. If I could put the damn ankhs down I would have totally read that Sports Illustrated article on Stephen Strasburg. Still, Frank read me the safety card (planes do tend to crash when I’m around), and that was good because I’m pretty knowledgeable about a water landing, but there wasn’t so much water under us once we passed the Great Salt Lake.

I was very excited to see Coors Field. I can’t imagine how fast I would have been built if the people that built me had some of the equipment used to build this place. I was really excited to see another statue … this one is called “The Player”. It has a quote by Branch Rickey inscribed on it … “It is not the honor that you take with you but the heritage that you leave behind.” That’s pretty nice. Branch Rickey was the man who helped to intergrate baseball when he was with the Brooklyn Dodgers, signing and bringing Jackie Robinson up to the major leagues (originally as a second baseman). This statue, which is in front of the home plate entrance, was built in 2005, so it’s just a baby as far as statues go. I did look underneath the base, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone living inside it. I’m sure in time someone with a loom will be down there.

The inside of Coors Field was really a neat thing for a little old statue like me to see. The stadium has some interesting quirks to it. My favorite thing might be the ring of purple seats in the top section of the stadium. Those purple seats are exactly 5,280-feet above sea level, which is exactly a mile high.One thing that is a little goofy is they have a memorial on the bullpen wall for Darryl Kile, a former Rockies pitcher who died in his hotel room back on June 22, 2002 when he was a member of the St. Louis Cardinals. It’s only goofy because hardly anyone in the stadium can see it. The Rockies do have a very large scoreboard beyond the left field bleachers as you can see, and the ball in the Rockies logo is actually a working clock, which I liked. It’s hard to see, but on the far left of that photo is a Toyota Truck, which is located 485 feet from home plate, and if a player hits it, they win it. Ain’t happening. That area of the park is where Todd Helton’s Burger Shack is…$12 for a big burger, fries or onion rings, and whatever large drink you want….not a bad deal there.

Frank’s daughter got a baseball within 10 minutes of entering the park, so I was lucky enough to get my picture with it. Baseball’s are really interesting…Jacob and his brother ol’ black shirt…damn I can never remember that guy’s name…boy could a baseball have helped pass the time, because let’s face it, you can only play senet so many hours in a day. Baseballs back in the day…like when I was a young statue, were made of horsehide, but now they are basically a leather covering that is wrapped over yarn, which is wrapped over a cork or rubber center. Usually baseballs are nine to nine and a quarter inches in circumference … Japanese baseballs tend to be smaller. I’d say that’s genetics for you but statues really shouldn’t say things like that. Little known fact..the yarn or string in a baseball? If you unraveled it all, it would be nearly a mile in length…it would go to the purple seats! Since 1977, the baseballs have been made in Costa Rica, and they are all hand-stitched. And how many stitches are there in a hand-sewn major league ball? 108. Seriously! 108 stitches!!! I mean…that’s what those stupid numbers added up to those people kept worrying about on the island. How crazy is that…I knew I would love baseball.

This is Dinger, the Colorado Rockies mascot, who took an instant love for me…and me for him. What a guy. Dinger is not just any old dinosaur by the way. He is a triceratops, which had roamed the earth during the last Cretaceous period around 65-68 million years ago. Amazingly, I think Dinger is going to be very popular when he dies, as there are currently no full triceratops skeletons in the world. Dinger was born back in April of 1993. Apparently when they were doing the construction for this ballpark, the Rockies were playing games at Mile High Stadium (which eventually gave way to Invesco Field at Mile High). Apparently they unearthed a giant triceratops egg during that time he hatched on opening day in 1993. Apparently Rockies fans kind of hate him, well, the adults do…kids love him. Back in 2007 Rockies fans actually circulated a petition to have Dinger buried back at the site where he was found. How rude! I’m much older than the little kids that flock to Dinger, and it is true that he basically does nothing, isn’t funny, and sort of is a waste of people’s time, but in reality isn’t that the same description we could have used for Paulo and Nikki? Oh wait, nevermind. Still, it’s a purple dinosaur, and it’s not Barney, so I was OK with him….he can hang on my island anytime.

And that was my big trip to Coors Field for my first ever baseball game. I’m looking forward to going to San Francisco in a few days to see the sights there and take in a second baseball game, this a Yankees-A’s game. I’ve heard that A-Rod, who plays for the Yankees is built like a statue and has the personality of one, but we she see about that. I feel I have a great personality.

Namaste!

The Statue

Saturday, May 29 - City of Mesa Cemetery

So with everyone kind of dying on that island, I thought to myself ... "let's go see some dead people!", so it was off to lunch and the City of Mesa Cemetery, or as Loras McClimon, our fantastic tour guide referred to it, the "marble orchid". They have an odd sense of humor in Mesa apparently.

Prior to the cemetery, look what I found in the parking lot! It's that yellow hummer from the sideways world that belonged to Hurley. OK, so Jacob called him Hugo, but I prefer Hurley. Either way, I went looking for him around that hotel, but all I could find were conventioneers from the Arizona Regional Convention for Narcotics Anonymous, which is weird because I since I know what they look like they aren't really anonymous.

Anyways, we went from the parking lot over to a place we don't have on the island....Buffalo Wild Wings, or as the people I was with refer to it...BW3. It was pretty tasty, or so I was told...as a solid statue it's not like I get to unclench my teeth and eat.

From there it was off to the cemetery, where we saw many interesting things, but there were four big highlights. The first headstone was of Ernesto Miranda ....


Ernesto apparently raped a girl in Phoenix or Mesa, and was promptly arrested, beaten up pretty good, and forgotten about. Well, he hired a lawyer who got him off because as a non-English speaking citizen, he wasn't informed of his rights as an American. So no, anytime someone is arrested, they read a set of right from a little card, called the Miranda Rights...and they are named after Ernesto. In an ironic twist, Ernesto was killed in a bar fight a few years later, and the cops in Phoenix conveniently forgot to read that guy his Miranda Rights, and he was allowed to walk, just like Ernesto. Ernesto now permanently has the right, and the ability, to remain silent!

The second grave was that of country crooner Waylon Jennings...










...who I was told was the voice over guy in the Dukes of Hazzard TV Show. Waylon was originally going to be on the plane that killed Buddy Holly, but he gave up his seat on the plane to the Big Bopper, who was sick and needed to get home. Waylon eventually recorded as part of the legendary "Highwaymen", and had his foot amputed from diabetes while in a Phoenix hospital. He lived in Mesa and was buried there when he died.

The third stop was for the military, and with this being Memorial Day weekend, it was neat to see all the American flags out.









This part of the cemetery has members of the Royal Armed Forces, which is the British Army. These soldiers were training in Arizona doing flights and most of them died by crashing after getting lost in the desert and running out of gas. Not sure why they don't have British flags...

The final stop was the famous Benjamin Franklin Johnson. Ol' B.F. Johnson was a famed Mormon pioneer who came across in a covered wagon and settled in the area. This is the front side of his headstone...









Pretty neat right? Well, here is the back....












That's right..seven wives. All seven are buried near the marker. The reason I say it that way is that ol' B.F. Johnson is not buried with his seven wives...he is buried a quarter-mile away next to his parents. Together in life with seven women, and get them away from me in death I suppose. They say he had over 50 children, and has over 2,000 descendants...even as the god of fertility, I find that amazing.

And that was my big outing to the cemetery...looks a lot nicer than the one those folks on the island made near the beach. I wonder if there are diamonds in any of the ones I just saw....

Til next time!
--The Statue.

Wednesday, May 26 - Mesa, Arizona - Hohokam Stadium

Hi all....oh my gosh am I glad to be free of that island! Jacob has had that fire going for years, and let me tell you, that's a hot flash and a half right there. Thanks for checking this out...I've heard so much about America from being on the island, as everyone mysteriously spoke English, so I'm happy to be able to tour the country. My first big stop was to Hohokam Park in Mesa, Arizona! Of course, there are other signs around that say Hohokam Stadium, and some spell it Hohokam, and some spell it HoHoKam ... and I thought Tawaret was tough. No one knows how it is pronounced either, as it is named for a long died-out Indian tribe. However you say it or spell it, it's pretty cool, even if it is the spring training facility for the Cubs.

I have to tell you that the weather here is an island-like 84 degrees at noon here in Arizona, which is nice...good thing I'm only in a loin cloth. Hohokam Stadium is the host site for the Western Athletic Conference baseball tournament. I saw Hurley's golf course, and I would love to get to a country club, but I don't see that happening just yet. The tournament features six teams (Fresno State, New Mexico State, Hawai'i, Louisiana Tech, San Jose State, and New Mexico State). NMSU is the country's leader in home runs, and they are hitting .351 this year, but I have to root for Hawai'i right? Island team....I would think they would appreciate what I've gone through for the last 6,000+ years.

The stadium is pretty nice, and it seats about 13,000, but I don't think we will quite have that many people here. Behind me is Fresno State, who won the national title two years ago with an incredible Cinderella run. Apparently there is a long history of the tournament being held down here, and this is the first year in a new three-year contract, so hopefully I can come back next year too, since I really like this weather. By the way, it's a pretty nice scoreboard too, with a message center and a video replay board. I think I would like TV ... apparently I'm a quasi-TV celebrity, but I'm not really sure. If I could ever put these Ankh's down for a little bit, maybe I could figure out how to type on a computer and look it up, since I've heard that computers have improved greatly since those DHARMA Initiative folks showed up around here.

I'm looking forward to traveling around and seeing the different things in America, since I wasn't overly mobile before (thank you storm surge/Black Rock/Jacob).

--Tawaret

May 26, 2010 - Opening Entry

Welcome to the travels of the four-toed statue. Courtesy of Global Cash Card, I was able to submit a video and win one of the coveted finalists prize, a replica of the four-toed statue from the show. Now, I did also win the grand prize of a DHARMA Van, but that will not be easy to travel with on airplanes.

I've always admired folks who have travel blogs and stuff, but I usually feel like I'm invading on people's space a little bit. I get to travel quite a bit, but I don't ever want it to be about me, like "Look how cool I am!" But what if it's a 14-inch inanimate object from the time before Christ? How awesome would that be? So, this is the last time I, Frank Mercogliano, will be talking...instead, it will be all about the musings of Tawaret, the four-toed statue. Hopefully it will at least be interesting...maybe...doubtful.

From here on out, the four-toed statue will be taking over...so as the ancient goddess Tawaret would say, Laso lok je ge! (Goodbye!)