Saturday, May 29 - City of Mesa Cemetery

So with everyone kind of dying on that island, I thought to myself ... "let's go see some dead people!", so it was off to lunch and the City of Mesa Cemetery, or as Loras McClimon, our fantastic tour guide referred to it, the "marble orchid". They have an odd sense of humor in Mesa apparently.

Prior to the cemetery, look what I found in the parking lot! It's that yellow hummer from the sideways world that belonged to Hurley. OK, so Jacob called him Hugo, but I prefer Hurley. Either way, I went looking for him around that hotel, but all I could find were conventioneers from the Arizona Regional Convention for Narcotics Anonymous, which is weird because I since I know what they look like they aren't really anonymous.

Anyways, we went from the parking lot over to a place we don't have on the island....Buffalo Wild Wings, or as the people I was with refer to it...BW3. It was pretty tasty, or so I was told...as a solid statue it's not like I get to unclench my teeth and eat.

From there it was off to the cemetery, where we saw many interesting things, but there were four big highlights. The first headstone was of Ernesto Miranda ....


Ernesto apparently raped a girl in Phoenix or Mesa, and was promptly arrested, beaten up pretty good, and forgotten about. Well, he hired a lawyer who got him off because as a non-English speaking citizen, he wasn't informed of his rights as an American. So no, anytime someone is arrested, they read a set of right from a little card, called the Miranda Rights...and they are named after Ernesto. In an ironic twist, Ernesto was killed in a bar fight a few years later, and the cops in Phoenix conveniently forgot to read that guy his Miranda Rights, and he was allowed to walk, just like Ernesto. Ernesto now permanently has the right, and the ability, to remain silent!

The second grave was that of country crooner Waylon Jennings...










...who I was told was the voice over guy in the Dukes of Hazzard TV Show. Waylon was originally going to be on the plane that killed Buddy Holly, but he gave up his seat on the plane to the Big Bopper, who was sick and needed to get home. Waylon eventually recorded as part of the legendary "Highwaymen", and had his foot amputed from diabetes while in a Phoenix hospital. He lived in Mesa and was buried there when he died.

The third stop was for the military, and with this being Memorial Day weekend, it was neat to see all the American flags out.









This part of the cemetery has members of the Royal Armed Forces, which is the British Army. These soldiers were training in Arizona doing flights and most of them died by crashing after getting lost in the desert and running out of gas. Not sure why they don't have British flags...

The final stop was the famous Benjamin Franklin Johnson. Ol' B.F. Johnson was a famed Mormon pioneer who came across in a covered wagon and settled in the area. This is the front side of his headstone...









Pretty neat right? Well, here is the back....












That's right..seven wives. All seven are buried near the marker. The reason I say it that way is that ol' B.F. Johnson is not buried with his seven wives...he is buried a quarter-mile away next to his parents. Together in life with seven women, and get them away from me in death I suppose. They say he had over 50 children, and has over 2,000 descendants...even as the god of fertility, I find that amazing.

And that was my big outing to the cemetery...looks a lot nicer than the one those folks on the island made near the beach. I wonder if there are diamonds in any of the ones I just saw....

Til next time!
--The Statue.

Wednesday, May 26 - Mesa, Arizona - Hohokam Stadium

Hi all....oh my gosh am I glad to be free of that island! Jacob has had that fire going for years, and let me tell you, that's a hot flash and a half right there. Thanks for checking this out...I've heard so much about America from being on the island, as everyone mysteriously spoke English, so I'm happy to be able to tour the country. My first big stop was to Hohokam Park in Mesa, Arizona! Of course, there are other signs around that say Hohokam Stadium, and some spell it Hohokam, and some spell it HoHoKam ... and I thought Tawaret was tough. No one knows how it is pronounced either, as it is named for a long died-out Indian tribe. However you say it or spell it, it's pretty cool, even if it is the spring training facility for the Cubs.

I have to tell you that the weather here is an island-like 84 degrees at noon here in Arizona, which is nice...good thing I'm only in a loin cloth. Hohokam Stadium is the host site for the Western Athletic Conference baseball tournament. I saw Hurley's golf course, and I would love to get to a country club, but I don't see that happening just yet. The tournament features six teams (Fresno State, New Mexico State, Hawai'i, Louisiana Tech, San Jose State, and New Mexico State). NMSU is the country's leader in home runs, and they are hitting .351 this year, but I have to root for Hawai'i right? Island team....I would think they would appreciate what I've gone through for the last 6,000+ years.

The stadium is pretty nice, and it seats about 13,000, but I don't think we will quite have that many people here. Behind me is Fresno State, who won the national title two years ago with an incredible Cinderella run. Apparently there is a long history of the tournament being held down here, and this is the first year in a new three-year contract, so hopefully I can come back next year too, since I really like this weather. By the way, it's a pretty nice scoreboard too, with a message center and a video replay board. I think I would like TV ... apparently I'm a quasi-TV celebrity, but I'm not really sure. If I could ever put these Ankh's down for a little bit, maybe I could figure out how to type on a computer and look it up, since I've heard that computers have improved greatly since those DHARMA Initiative folks showed up around here.

I'm looking forward to traveling around and seeing the different things in America, since I wasn't overly mobile before (thank you storm surge/Black Rock/Jacob).

--Tawaret

May 26, 2010 - Opening Entry

Welcome to the travels of the four-toed statue. Courtesy of Global Cash Card, I was able to submit a video and win one of the coveted finalists prize, a replica of the four-toed statue from the show. Now, I did also win the grand prize of a DHARMA Van, but that will not be easy to travel with on airplanes.

I've always admired folks who have travel blogs and stuff, but I usually feel like I'm invading on people's space a little bit. I get to travel quite a bit, but I don't ever want it to be about me, like "Look how cool I am!" But what if it's a 14-inch inanimate object from the time before Christ? How awesome would that be? So, this is the last time I, Frank Mercogliano, will be talking...instead, it will be all about the musings of Tawaret, the four-toed statue. Hopefully it will at least be interesting...maybe...doubtful.

From here on out, the four-toed statue will be taking over...so as the ancient goddess Tawaret would say, Laso lok je ge! (Goodbye!)